If you've done much reading up on writing, you are likely to have found some rap on "noisy tag lines". Just use said. The readers will skim over it.
But I like using the right word. The word that fits. Not always "said". Whispered. Shouted. Sighed. Squealed. Mumbled. Muttered. Murmured. Insisted, demanded, commanded, directed. Hissed, burst out, exploded, explained. Described, snorted, scoffed, growled.
And adverbial tag lines. "Said tiredly", "said anxiously", "said angrily".
One more thing that I notice people say about tag lines: You shouldn't use "laughed", because when you think about it, you can't laugh and talk at the same time.
But, you can. Right? I mean, it's not very intelligible, but you can talk while laughing. Just like you can talk while crying. No one gives "sobbed" a bad rap. But laughed, man. Wow.
Today (April ninth), I watched the first two episodes of The Lion Guard. It is. Horrible.
Okay, so problem one, which you can see from just ads, is that the main cast is: a male lion with a shock of red hair on top of his head, a female cheetah, a male hippo, a male bird (I'm not sure what kind), and a male honey badger. Wait. A... Only one female? Ookay.
Problem two: They all have red pawprints on their left shoulders. How do they stay there? And why does the cheetah have such a conveniently placed spotless spot on her shoulder? Look at this:
Augh, so blurry. Whatever, you can see. WHY.
Problem 3: GOODBYE, CONTINUITY! IT WAS NICE KNOWING YOU! Kiara is still young in this alternate universe, and Kion is her brother so...... Where was he in The Lion King 2?
Problem 4: Not really a problem, but I absolutely love that their job is to "protect the circle of life", and in the second episode, we find out that they basically have to do this unless it means some random animal gets eaten by its natural predator.
Problem 5: Actually just another thing I love. I love how realistically the females (well, just Kiara [so far], but really that's like a quarter of all the females in the show [so far]) are, in that they do nothing but ask the Lion Guard to take care of things and complain that they're not doing it fast enough!
Problem 6: So, did the second movie just, not happen? Cuz Simba sure is comfortable with leaving his daughter home alone while he and Nala go hunting, and letting his son go romping around protecting the Pridelands from whatever... Or is he just sexist, and more protective of his daughter than his son, which is also why she can't do anything to help Kion? Oh man, that gives this show a hilariously political undertone.
Problem 7: So, apparently the lions are in charge of everything? Including the crocodiles' leadership challenges? What?
Problem 8: The series literally starts with Kion getting swept downriver after warding off some hyenas (who, evidently, always travel in groups of three) and ending up in hyena territory, where, coincidentally, a hyena tells him he's going the wrong way and, surprise, surprise, is right. And-- whoa-- they... become friends??? And... She's competent? And... They sing a song about sisivmi sawa or whatever which means we are the same? And. At the end, he has to use "The Roar" (I'll get to that later) and his friends hear, and so they come to save him, but of course he already finished getting rid of the hyenas, which they should know because hteey know what the roar is, but anyway, they come, and so they see Jessana or whatever her name was, and they snarl at her and they're gonna fight her, but then Kion is all "No, stop! What are you doing? She's my frie-end!" and it's just so cliche.
OH MY GOODNESS I just went to the characters page on The Lion King Wikia to check her name, and there are TWENTY-ONE PAGES of characters. By the way, it's Jasiri. Oh, for goodness' sake, there's a hyena named Cheezi. Wow.
Problem 9: Style. They somehow made RAFIKI creepier. RAFIKI. How?????? And Simba sounds like not-Simba. (I am watching a KP video, comparing it to MLP, and she referenced Kingdom Hearts like 2 or 3 times. This is weird.)
Problem 10: The Roar. A magical attack. So, before we go into this, I once heard a theory that the royals of the Pridelands can control the weather, exemplified by the drought that occurs while Scar is in power and Simba is in hiding, the way Mufasa manifests to Simba, and the rain when Simba wins the fight with Scar for leadership. ... Oh, okay, as I'm doing my research, I find out that the theory is actually that Mufasa can control the weather, even after death, but whatever. I like the other way. Anyway, The Roar is when Kion roars unrealistically loudly and the clouds come in and form into like three or so grown lions and roar with him and blow everything ahead of him away. Yeah. So. This supports that theory I guess.
Problem 11: WHY AM I STILL TALKING ABOUT THIS??? WHY AM I STILL ON THE COMPUTER??? AAAAAGHHH I NEED TO GO OUTSIDE.
Oh okay, apparently I was supposed to start with the movie. I mean, the "The Lion Guard: Return of the Roar", not "The Lion King".
But I like using the right word. The word that fits. Not always "said". Whispered. Shouted. Sighed. Squealed. Mumbled. Muttered. Murmured. Insisted, demanded, commanded, directed. Hissed, burst out, exploded, explained. Described, snorted, scoffed, growled.
And adverbial tag lines. "Said tiredly", "said anxiously", "said angrily".
One more thing that I notice people say about tag lines: You shouldn't use "laughed", because when you think about it, you can't laugh and talk at the same time.
But, you can. Right? I mean, it's not very intelligible, but you can talk while laughing. Just like you can talk while crying. No one gives "sobbed" a bad rap. But laughed, man. Wow.
Today (April ninth), I watched the first two episodes of The Lion Guard. It is. Horrible.
Okay, so problem one, which you can see from just ads, is that the main cast is: a male lion with a shock of red hair on top of his head, a female cheetah, a male hippo, a male bird (I'm not sure what kind), and a male honey badger. Wait. A... Only one female? Ookay.
Problem two: They all have red pawprints on their left shoulders. How do they stay there? And why does the cheetah have such a conveniently placed spotless spot on her shoulder? Look at this:
Problem 3: GOODBYE, CONTINUITY! IT WAS NICE KNOWING YOU! Kiara is still young in this alternate universe, and Kion is her brother so...... Where was he in The Lion King 2?
Problem 4: Not really a problem, but I absolutely love that their job is to "protect the circle of life", and in the second episode, we find out that they basically have to do this unless it means some random animal gets eaten by its natural predator.
Problem 5: Actually just another thing I love. I love how realistically the females (well, just Kiara [so far], but really that's like a quarter of all the females in the show [so far]) are, in that they do nothing but ask the Lion Guard to take care of things and complain that they're not doing it fast enough!
Problem 6: So, did the second movie just, not happen? Cuz Simba sure is comfortable with leaving his daughter home alone while he and Nala go hunting, and letting his son go romping around protecting the Pridelands from whatever... Or is he just sexist, and more protective of his daughter than his son, which is also why she can't do anything to help Kion? Oh man, that gives this show a hilariously political undertone.
Problem 7: So, apparently the lions are in charge of everything? Including the crocodiles' leadership challenges? What?
Problem 8: The series literally starts with Kion getting swept downriver after warding off some hyenas (who, evidently, always travel in groups of three) and ending up in hyena territory, where, coincidentally, a hyena tells him he's going the wrong way and, surprise, surprise, is right. And-- whoa-- they... become friends??? And... She's competent? And... They sing a song about sisivmi sawa or whatever which means we are the same? And. At the end, he has to use "The Roar" (I'll get to that later) and his friends hear, and so they come to save him, but of course he already finished getting rid of the hyenas, which they should know because hteey know what the roar is, but anyway, they come, and so they see Jessana or whatever her name was, and they snarl at her and they're gonna fight her, but then Kion is all "No, stop! What are you doing? She's my frie-end!" and it's just so cliche.
OH MY GOODNESS I just went to the characters page on The Lion King Wikia to check her name, and there are TWENTY-ONE PAGES of characters. By the way, it's Jasiri. Oh, for goodness' sake, there's a hyena named Cheezi. Wow.
Problem 9: Style. They somehow made RAFIKI creepier. RAFIKI. How?????? And Simba sounds like not-Simba. (I am watching a KP video, comparing it to MLP, and she referenced Kingdom Hearts like 2 or 3 times. This is weird.)
Problem 10: The Roar. A magical attack. So, before we go into this, I once heard a theory that the royals of the Pridelands can control the weather, exemplified by the drought that occurs while Scar is in power and Simba is in hiding, the way Mufasa manifests to Simba, and the rain when Simba wins the fight with Scar for leadership. ... Oh, okay, as I'm doing my research, I find out that the theory is actually that Mufasa can control the weather, even after death, but whatever. I like the other way. Anyway, The Roar is when Kion roars unrealistically loudly and the clouds come in and form into like three or so grown lions and roar with him and blow everything ahead of him away. Yeah. So. This supports that theory I guess.
Problem 11: WHY AM I STILL TALKING ABOUT THIS??? WHY AM I STILL ON THE COMPUTER??? AAAAAGHHH I NEED TO GO OUTSIDE.
Oh okay, apparently I was supposed to start with the movie. I mean, the "The Lion Guard: Return of the Roar", not "The Lion King".
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