Chester Wanted a Turn, So...

Huhwo peopews!

Wait, Chester, let me--

You said it was my tuhn.

Yes but--

*big sigh* Guhl...

Stop whining, it'll be like 5 minutes.

Dat is a-eveh.

No it's just 5 minutes... Like the time it takes between asking Lady to make Parmesan bread and the toaster dinging.

Yah. A-eveh.

Whatever. It's going to be longer the more you argue.

Fine.

Great. So, the dog has sort of an accent/lisp thing? And to him I am the Girl, Mom is Lady, Penguin is Teenager, and everyone else is their name-dash-whichever person they are most similar to (or person, or man) like Grandma-Lady and Grandpa-Man. But he'll say "Yady" instead of "Lady", and "Guhl" instead of "Girl". He says "yah" a lot... sometimes you have to drag it out in your mind so that it's 'yyaaahhhhhh" and he sounds really happy about it. Umm... Oh, for him "depress" and "impress" are switched, so don't get confused if he uses them weirdly.

Is ih my tuhn yeh?

Almost. Also, he usually leaves off the T's, so.. yeah. Okay, your turn.

Yay! Uhkay. Umm... I have not been feeded uhday...

Chester! You got breakfast.

*Nods gravely* Yah. Yesseday.

No, today.

Uuuuummmmmmmmm Nuh. It was yesseday.

*rolls eyes* We do not neglect the dog. He just thinks that after he sleeps-- for any insignificant amount of time-- it is "a-day" and before he sleeps is "yesseday" and any time in the future other than later today is "mowwow".

Yike Kissmus. Dat is mowwow.

Um... Sure. Christmas is actually in a little less than a month but...

Dat is what I SAID. Mowwow. Mehbe I wiw get a dead howse dis yeaw!

For the hundredth time NO! You are NEVER getting a dead horse. Not for Christmas, or any other day of the year.

Ohhh, Guhhll. Dat is mean.

Also true-- Oh, the dead horse thing? I was telling him about Christmas the first year we had him, and to lessen his fear of "Santa-man" I was telling him about presents and how once, Santa had brought me a big dollhouse. "Did it have a puppy in it??" Chester asked excitedly. "No, but there was a horse." "Wiwwy???" He asked in amaze and intrigue. "Um.. Yes." "Can I smehw him?" (at this point I think I probably made a scrunchy trying-to-raise-one-eyebrow face) "I... guess.. probably..." "Whew is he?" "Probably in the box of hard-animals." "You keep him in a boss?" "Yeah..." "Is he yive??" "No, of course not. We don't have room for a live horse." "He was DEAD?!?!" "What? No!" "But you dsuss said he wasn't ayive. So he muss be dead." "Wh-- No, he's a toy!" "Santa-man bwings dead howses!?!?" *facepalm*

I duno' undewstand. Dey aw dead howses.

Sure, Chester.

OH GUHL!!

What?

I dsuss a-membuhd. YADY is going to be BAD YADY.

Really? How?

SSE is going to GEDSWOHW a POINTment. At dhe VEH!!!

Ohh noo *mock scaredness*

Yes. It IS uh nuh a-cause dhe veh PWICKLES me. And POKES me and BAWWASSES me.

But it's just so you stay healthy.

Um... I duh no' fink. Dat is what walking is fow.

But remember when you hurt your leg, and when you walked it hurt it more?

Nuh. Dat was a-cause you wouldn't yet me walk. When evvybody finawy yetted me go fow walk I gotted bettew!

Chester. That was because we didn't let you walk until you were all healed.

I do'no' fink.

Iiii think this is a good place to stop. Bye everybody! Catch ya later!

Guhl--

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