spoilers for the original Jumanji
I WAS COOL
AND THEN THEY ESCAPED THE GAME
AND EVERYTHING WENT DOWNHILL
IT'S A TIME LOOP THING, BUT NOT
IF IT WAS A TRUE TIME LOOP, THE IRL EVENTS WOULD PROCEED THE SAME WAY THEY DID ORIGINALLY. IE, JUDY AND PETER'S PARENTS WOULD HAVE GONE TO CANADA, GOT IN A CAR CRASH, AND DIED, AND JUDY AND PETER WOULD MOVE IN WITH THEIR AUNT, THEN MOVE TO THE PARRISHES' HOUSE AND STUFF
BUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
that did not happen. instead, the timeline changed bc the game undid the consequences. I was wondering through the movie to what extent the game would "undo" -- evidently, it went as far as returning the world to the way it was before the game had begun. but the players have the memory of what went down during the game.
So alan and sarah evidently get together after completing the game. and then changed everything so carl didn't get to be a radical cop, and Judy and Peter never moved in w their aunt and crud.
ok so i understand that. but they met judy and peter before their parents' ski trip. And before Mr. and Mrs. Parrish died. well, at least Mr parrish. i assumed that judy and peter recognized them too, although I suppose they didn't? but thaat's completely unfair!! bc the characters we got attached to throughout the movie are suddenly gone and don't exist!! they don't have the memories from the game!!
also the characters were all really DUMB
the game said there was going to be a monsoon and they decided to go upstairs, even as they saw water cascading down the stairs. They didn't go outside, even though everything we've seen before that suggests that the effects all begin at/in THAT HOUSE.
the doors were watertight apparently which is just stupid
then the floor turned into quicksand, which, the effects were scientifically incorrect but i digress, alan was falling through, and ended up with just his face sticking out when the floor rehardened (for whatever reason, i guess judy took her turn and it reversed alan's consequence?????). They were upstairs. He could've not struggled and fallen through to the base floor and avoided the awkwardness of sarah trying to roll while her hands were stuck in the floor and whatnot.
THEN, spiders showed up and alan sent peter downstairs to the shed to get an axe, and judy started hitting spiders with a piece of furniture.
when peter finally got back with the axe (which he found outside the shed and began to use to open the shed bc it was locked, before realizing what he was holding, the funniest part of the movie objectively) he tried to fend off spiders but kept on hitting the ground next to them??? judy did better with her part-of-a-chair or whatever.
ok so the aunt came home and SAW ALAN'S LEGS DANGLING FROM THE CEILING. confirming that the "quickcsand" wasn't spiriting him away somewhere.
ugh ok so there was an "earthquake" but what it meant by that was "the ground and the house are splitting open right beneath the gameboard"
omg they were so stupid.
there was a whirlwind sucking the stuff back into Jumanji, and alan and sarah's heads were in it, and they didn't sit down until the wind was dying down omg
and for NO REASON there was a horrifying image of Van Pelt's head beforeit was fully sucked into the box???? for no reason he shouldn't even have been last, objectively, either the Bats should've been last, or the damage to the house, or whatever was farthest away (the stampede or bats or monkeys probably). he may have been closest but he started disintegrating first!!!!!!!!!! omg
WHY
and i almost forgot, when the kid got sucked in???
THIS IS WORSE THAN MICHAEL JORDAN IN SPACE JAM.
YIKES
also the animation on the monkeys was hilariously bad check it out
oh yes, and peter's transformation... not too bad, just a lion boy... until you look at his nooooossseeee
the only good part was when carl fixed his poor car with junkkk from teh dollar store. carl was great
I WAS COOL
AND THEN THEY ESCAPED THE GAME
AND EVERYTHING WENT DOWNHILL
IT'S A TIME LOOP THING, BUT NOT
IF IT WAS A TRUE TIME LOOP, THE IRL EVENTS WOULD PROCEED THE SAME WAY THEY DID ORIGINALLY. IE, JUDY AND PETER'S PARENTS WOULD HAVE GONE TO CANADA, GOT IN A CAR CRASH, AND DIED, AND JUDY AND PETER WOULD MOVE IN WITH THEIR AUNT, THEN MOVE TO THE PARRISHES' HOUSE AND STUFF
BUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
that did not happen. instead, the timeline changed bc the game undid the consequences. I was wondering through the movie to what extent the game would "undo" -- evidently, it went as far as returning the world to the way it was before the game had begun. but the players have the memory of what went down during the game.
So alan and sarah evidently get together after completing the game. and then changed everything so carl didn't get to be a radical cop, and Judy and Peter never moved in w their aunt and crud.
ok so i understand that. but they met judy and peter before their parents' ski trip. And before Mr. and Mrs. Parrish died. well, at least Mr parrish. i assumed that judy and peter recognized them too, although I suppose they didn't? but thaat's completely unfair!! bc the characters we got attached to throughout the movie are suddenly gone and don't exist!! they don't have the memories from the game!!
also the characters were all really DUMB
the game said there was going to be a monsoon and they decided to go upstairs, even as they saw water cascading down the stairs. They didn't go outside, even though everything we've seen before that suggests that the effects all begin at/in THAT HOUSE.
the doors were watertight apparently which is just stupid
then the floor turned into quicksand, which, the effects were scientifically incorrect but i digress, alan was falling through, and ended up with just his face sticking out when the floor rehardened (for whatever reason, i guess judy took her turn and it reversed alan's consequence?????). They were upstairs. He could've not struggled and fallen through to the base floor and avoided the awkwardness of sarah trying to roll while her hands were stuck in the floor and whatnot.
THEN, spiders showed up and alan sent peter downstairs to the shed to get an axe, and judy started hitting spiders with a piece of furniture.
when peter finally got back with the axe (which he found outside the shed and began to use to open the shed bc it was locked, before realizing what he was holding, the funniest part of the movie objectively) he tried to fend off spiders but kept on hitting the ground next to them??? judy did better with her part-of-a-chair or whatever.
ok so the aunt came home and SAW ALAN'S LEGS DANGLING FROM THE CEILING. confirming that the "quickcsand" wasn't spiriting him away somewhere.
ugh ok so there was an "earthquake" but what it meant by that was "the ground and the house are splitting open right beneath the gameboard"
omg they were so stupid.
there was a whirlwind sucking the stuff back into Jumanji, and alan and sarah's heads were in it, and they didn't sit down until the wind was dying down omg
and for NO REASON there was a horrifying image of Van Pelt's head beforeit was fully sucked into the box???? for no reason he shouldn't even have been last, objectively, either the Bats should've been last, or the damage to the house, or whatever was farthest away (the stampede or bats or monkeys probably). he may have been closest but he started disintegrating first!!!!!!!!!! omg
WHY
and i almost forgot, when the kid got sucked in???
THIS IS WORSE THAN MICHAEL JORDAN IN SPACE JAM.
YIKES
also the animation on the monkeys was hilariously bad check it out
oh yes, and peter's transformation... not too bad, just a lion boy... until you look at his nooooossseeee
the only good part was when carl fixed his poor car with junkkk from teh dollar store. carl was great
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